Text in the city

It's a bit scary when the local paper has organised its classifieds so that the garage sales are right next to the brothels. In my local Leader, I found "Deceased Estates" next to "Black door Kate" (and no, that isn't a typo).

There's also something extra disturbing going on. No more "Porking Friends" as I like to call them, (remember, I AM The Hack) now it's "Text Talk" and it's even more sad and pathetic.

*Bi-curious guy wants to chat to other guys for fun & f/ship.

*Housewife seeks discreet fun.

*Shy student, slim 21, will send pics. (Of other people, no doubt)

But for sheer adventure, I had to hand it to the Nude Piano Teacher, plays music for you, naughty and sexy. What I want to know is, will she do housevisits even if I don't have a piano? Because then she'll know I haven't been doing my scales!