I am Spartacus

Somewhere on the intermaweb, someone's offering $1,000 to finger The Hack's true identity.

I'll save you the hassle. Write the cheque out to me. I am The Hack.

I know, it's come as a huge blow to you all, because you'd pictured The Hack as some right wing death beast, when he is infact a figment of my imagination, and I'm a lonely suburban housewife, and by the age of 37 I'll realise I'll never ride through Paris in a sportscar with the warm wind in my hair.

Mostly becaust Paris is fricken cold most of the year, and the roads are full of drunk drivers.

I am also Tony Abbott. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

I also have 20 aliases and I once dated Naomi Robson, but she wouldn't put out, frigid cow, so I made up some guff about selling blow to her. I am now holed up in a mountain lair, writing fake letters to the editor for a full-time job. What, you thought those letters in Green Guide were real? hahahhaa, shows how good I am.